weighted down

santa cruz mountains in february 2008


paperweight in blown-glass, mark made this in march 2008


from tiburon, looking at san francisco in the distance; and half in sunlight,
half in shadow. march 2008

those months in santa cruz did mark a lot of good; he left there strong and smart and happy, ready to take on challenges and looking forward to good times. now he just seems weighted down and hopeless and adrift and lost. i wish he would find his way back.


soundboard, petaluma, april 2008

i don't know what to do to help him find which switches and dials to adjust, i don't even know how to tell him that they are there and he is the artist who can make of his own life anything he wants. he's got creative genius. he could start thinking and dreaming about the beauty he can make of his life. he put his genius to work making a life that is satisfying and amazing. he could and he can. he needs only to begin. as it is for each one of us, so it is for this young man: his life is in his own hands, in the hands of creation, with all the gifts and talents he's been abundantly blessed with. none of us know where it is exactly where are going. the best we can do is head into each day with some direction; with the cognizance that we can do so much more than merely what's expected of us, we can search and discover what we can ask from ourselves, and in setting out to do that, be amazed at what we find and where that journey of discovery takes us. this is what the old folks told me when i was a young kid. this is what i got from grandmothers, from teachers, from watching little kids, birds, waves, beaches, rivers, roads. this is what i took from voltaire, and kerouac, from dylan, from marie cassat, from donizetti and the dead. it's always worked for me. look for inspiration and let yourself be taken by it. be your own role model. find kindness in helping others. sometimes you find your own way, sometimes the way finds you. wake up and look at your choices, and pick a direction. this is growing up. this is life, and art, and humanity. this is what i thought when i was seventeen, and this is what i know now is true.